Saturday, 12 June 2010

Retarded 6-year-old disproves global warming

Benny Galt, a 6-year-old boy from Mineola, Texas, used to be considered special only in the sense that his level of development was slightly below that of most other children in his own age. Therefore he surprised everybody when he single-handedly managed to disprove the theory of man-made global warming. That makes him the youngest global-warming disprover sofar. Benny's proud father, former truck driver Obediah Galt, tells the story of how Benny defeated Al Gore and the global warming establishment one day when he was playing with his crayons.

"Benny usually eats the crayons, so I told him: 'Draw on the god-damn paper!' He is something of a retard, the boy. His mother drank a lot during the pregnancy", says Obediah as he smokes a joint, making no effort to be politically correct. "After a while, he told me 'Look, Daddy', and showed me this amazing drawing."

Next day, Obediah contacted the Orgone Institute of Science and Medicine (OISM) in order to get an expert's opinion. The OISM is considered one of the leading centers for climate research in the world. Craig Hitso from the institute comments:
"Once I saw the drawing, I knew that this would be the final nail in the coffin for the so-called anthropogenic global warming theory. It is all there. The sun at the top of the drawing - climate models do not take the sun into account. This young boy has shown thay they are wrong. The sun is an important part of the picture. Second, there is a polar bear. Global warming theory should kill all the polar bears, but there it is, and it looks pretty happy too. Third, there is the human figure to the left, and that is unmistakably al'Gore. And al'Gore is fat! Look at his girth! That definitely disproves global warming theory."

The drawing of young Benny has clearly created quite a stirr in the scientific community. In two weeks, Benny has been invited by senator James Inhofe to testify in the senate about the non-existent threat of global warming, and his expert testimony is believed to forever put the cap-and-tax proposal in the waste bin. Benny has also been mentioned by insiders in the Republican party as a future scientific advisor for future president Sarah Palin.

"I'm so proud of my Benny", says Benny's mother Dagny Galt. "He's my special little guy!"

Adeo in teneris consuescere multum est.

5 comments:

  1. It's extremely reassuring to see that after applying the scientific method, even a second grader can determine that Al Gore is fat and global warming is therefore a hoax.

    Good to see that Texas possesses that intellectual calibre, a fact which tends to be forgotten occasionally.

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  2. Ha! Those so called experts! They are shown to be inept buffoons that know nothing about real climate science!
    Benny Galt should be put in charge of the IPCC, and the Texas bored of education!

    Maurizio Moronito

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  3. I hate to admit it: I have tears in my eyes.

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  4. We have all the experts and the alarmist commies have only their faith in CAGW ( Communistically Aggravated Global Warming). They're a new age church of false doom that wants to take over the world with their lies!
    Thank you Baron Von Monckhofen for destroying their propaganda with this most authoratative and trustworthy of blogs!

    Swedish Paul.

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    Replies
    1. Why do Americans always insist that these people are commies?

      Sure, they're full of shit and hell-bent on turning science into a church, but that's not communist. That's religious, and communists hate religion with a passion.

      No, global warming cultists are very capitalist in nature, for they seek to profit from carbon taxes and distract the public from their very profitable dumping of toxic/nuclear wastes. There's much profit to be had, so they get people worried about carbon dioxide instead of real pollution.

      Delete

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