Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Heartlend apologizes for deception

In an unexpected move today, the dear people at the Heartlend Institute followed the example of Peter Gleick and issued an apology to all of humankind for their many deceptions. Joseph Bust, the Heartlend Institute chair, declared:
I was deeply move by Peter Gleick's heartfelt apology and his expression of remorse. I have realized that it is time that also we at the Heartlend Institute consider the moral implications of our actions. When I look back at what we have been doing for many years, regarding the climate, the environment, smoking and so on, I feel deeply ashamed. Peter Gleick may have lied to one of our staffers in order to get those documents, but we have systematically been lying to all of humanity during all of our existence. So please, don't be angry with Gleick: it is us that you should be angry with. We beg on our bare knees for forgiveness for our anti-climate, anti-environment, anti-health and anti-science activities, and we promise that we will never do it again.
We also want to apologize to the IRS for falsely pretending to be a public charity. We are so sorry! Take all the money you want!


  1. It's good to see an admission of guilt from the Hartlamb Institute concerning their betrayal of Reality (or at least of Reality's junior concept, Realisticness). We now see that the staffers at Hartlamb honestly believe in AGW, and in the positive economic role smoking tobacco has on removing older, less productive citizens just as they retire from the work force, and before they draw on their pensions for too long a time.

    Little do these Hartlamb staffers realize, but the Hartlamb Institute itself is not real! It is a PR front group, populated with clueless dupes who were hired to betray their principles. These disenchanted greensters were selling out, to earn as much money as their career-focused peers who never "sacrificed" their lives to helping frogs 'n' trees & other alive stuff. As sell-outs they were unreliable, so it was inevitable that one of them would crack & squeal like a pig.

    Good news! These greenbeciles are still wrong. Tobacco smoke cleans the lungs and people can't change the weather. And the real powr behind the Hartlamb will close up that shop and open a new one under another name. After all, if you have Skeletors in the closet, you dump the closet into the ocean and buy a fresh closet. Don't worry. Fox News will be kept informed as things progress.

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