Thursday, 29 July 2010

Listen to David Koch!

David Koch, who owns Koch Industries together with his brother Charles, is interviewed in the New York Magazine:

Koch says he’s not sure if global warming is caused by human activities, and at any rate, he sees the heating up of the planet as good news. Lengthened growing seasons in the northern hemisphere, he says, will make up for any trauma caused by the slow migration of people away from disappearing coastlines. The Earth will be able to support enormously more people because a far greater land area will be available to produce food, he says.

Wise words from a wise man and a great captain of industry, good for $17.5 billion! I wish people would listen more to honorable men like Koch, and less to hucksters like Jim Hansen who just wants to hog research grants and install a communist world government!

Audio sapiens Kochum vir

Mexicans Schmexicans!

There is a really silly paper in the Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences, which claims that global warming will cause millions of Mexicans to migrate to the United States. As anybody with some basic knowledge about history knows, mass migrations always come before the warming, and not after it. The Völkerwanderung or Migration period where Goths, Vandals, Anglons, Saxons and Huns moved around over Europe came before the Medieval Warming Period (see map). The great migration from the Old to the New World happened before the Recovery from The Little Ice Age period. Hence global warming cannot cause migrations - it must be the other way around.

And if Mexican migrations really would become a threat, the easiest solution for the United States would be to adapt and build a wall. Or maybe invade Canada. That would make much more sense than to stop using fossil fuels, which wouldn't have any noticable effects on the climate anyhow.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

The Blog-Citizens’ Tribunal to Find Out the Truth about the Climate Fraud

Whitewash after whitewash have come out of the official so-called inquiries and investigations of the great Climategate scandal. It has become apparent that only by a concerted effort by independent and unbiased investigators in the blogosphere can we cut through the deceptions and lies of the climate conspirators. There have been some attempts to do this before, most notably by brave climate auditor Steve McIntyre and the noble senator James Inhofe, but they have been too feeble and too conventional. We need some new initiatives, some new leadership! Therefore I call all blog scientists and blog auditors and blog investigators and blog aurors to unite under the banner of Climate Truth and join our considerable intellectual powers and moral forces so we can strike the final nail into the battered coffin of the climate scam.

The famous detective Sherlock Holmes will be our guiding light in this noble endeavour. Holmes was a genius that also worked outside of the official channels, represented by the boneheaded Scotland Yard Gestapo officers. If Holmes’s methods could lead to victory against the abominable Professor Moriarty, then they could also aid us in defeating the abominable professors Jones and Mann and Hansen.

The great Sherlock Holmes once said:

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?

We have eliminated the impossible: we can be certain that the fraudsters are not innocent; that their “science” is not free of manipulations and fudging; that their models are no better than video games. It just like when we reason about what controls the climate: once we have eliminated carbon dioxide, we know that it must be the iron core of the sun, cosmic rays, clouds, a recovery from the LIA, underwater volcanoes, Mars, natural 1500-year cycles, and thousands of undiscovered but significant climate drivers and it is not warming anyhow.

But what is the truth that remains in the case of Climategate? Tricks, lies, cheating, gate-keeping, back-scratching en masse – that is for certain, but we need to determine more exactly what all the crimes and misdemeanours of the Hockey team are.

The great Sherlock Holmes also said:

To let the brain work without sufficient material is like racing an engine. It racks itself to pieces.

We surely don’t want to rack our minds to pieces, so the first step of our project must be to collect all the relevant material. There are lots of people out there in the internets who have a piece of the truth – they must all be heard! And that is the wonderful thing about blog science – everybody can be heard. You don’t need any fancy titles and white lab coats – you just need a sharp wit and an open mind unsoiled by AGW dogma. Indeed, we have listened to the ivory-tower academics for too long, and look where that has led us! It is time that we listen to the average Joe Sixpack instead. Therefore, I want to say to everybody: anything you know, anything you believe, every hunch you have are pertinent to our investigation. As Sherlock Holmes said:

It is, of course, a trifle, but there is nothing so important as trifles.

Do not fear that what you say would be trivial or irrelevant or speculative or wrong: you still deserve to be heard. How can we otherwise know that we have not missed some important piece of information? Your little piece, however improbable, may still remain after we have eliminated the impossible, and then it will have been proven to be true. So whatever you have seen or read or heard about, whatever rumors and whispers you have come across on the web, whatever emails you have managed to download from some university’s mail server: report it. If it is not impossible, it must be true! If you have received an evasive reply to one of your FOI-requests, report it. And if you haven’t received any reply, it is even more important to report it. Silence is the supreme evidence of a crime:

"Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
"To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."
"The dog did nothing in the night-time."
"That was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes.

Finally, we need to do what we do best: we need to think. We need to get down into our basements and lock the door and pour though all our material during endless sleepless nights, with only a pipe and a bottle of whisky and our online fellow auditors and investigators to keep us company, and we need to figure out what it all means. And we need to think unconventionally. Our minds must boldly go were no minds have gone before. As Sherlock Holmes said:

In solving a problem of this sort, the grand thing is to be able to reason backward.

Indeed, we need to think backwards. Not boring, castrated forward thinking like those ivory-tower academics, but bold and imaginative backwards thinking. And upside-down-thinking, and inside-out thinking, and three-impossible-things-before-breakfast-thinking, and all kinds of unconventional thinking, just like the great Holmes did. We will not subject ourselves to Occam’s razor or other medieval instruments of torture. No matter how labyrinthine their machinations are, we will unravel them:

Perhaps, when a man has special knowledge and special powers like my own, it rather encourages him to seek a complex explanation when a simpler one is at hand.

With our collaborative effort, we will eliminate the impossible and reveal the hidden Truth, and finally throw down Hansen and Jones and Mann and Briffa and their hockey-club-wielding minions from the top of the Reichenbach Falls! And I don’t mean that as a figure of speech! With the combined powers of hundreds of right-thinking, independent and impartial blog scientists and science auditors, we cannot fail. And finally, the new blog science will replace the old corrupted back-scratching academic science, and that will the final nail into the battered coffin of the climate scam.

  • I urge everybody who has some evidence to report to write it down in the comment section below!

  • I invite my colleagues in blog science and auditing to cooperate in this effort and to establish posts were good and honest blog citizens can report and analyze evidence!

  • I invite other initiatives, such as the investigation that Andrew Montford is conducting for the Global Warming Policy Foundation, to join our tribunal under my supreme command!

I would like to end with this quote by the Great Detective:

I am not the law, but I represent justice so far as my feeble powers go.

Alone, we might have feeble powers, but together in The Blog-Citizens’ Tribunal to Find Out the Truth about the Climate Fraud we are an unstoppable justice machine!

Sunday, 11 July 2010

A lament on the difficulties in making an alarmist spoof site

Humor is a most powerful weapon, often used by the oppressed against their oppressors. By ridiculing and laughing at the oppressors, the oppressed can undermine their authority and make them appear less frightening. For instance, the American revolutionaries used to tell many jokes about the English at their tea parties, and make funny impersonations of the English gay king. The conquered Han Chinese had a lot of dirty jokes about the Mongols and their horses, and Atlas Shrugged is full of the most wonderful anti-socialist humor.
Today, we are facing an even more terrifying oppression from the eco-warmo-fascists, and one weapon we can use against them is ridicule. But here a serious problem arises: how can one ridicule something that is already so utterly, inconceivably ridiculous? How can one crack jokes about something that is a joke itself, albeit a terrible joke that will enslave humanity? When the evil and the absurd, the vicious and the ridiculous join forces, satire becomes a blunt sword.
I have sometimes thought about making a spoof website that makes fun of the typical AGW fanatic blog, like “Deltoid” or “Real Climate” or “Climate Progress”. Maybe I could give it some silly animal name, like the existing sites called "Stoat" and "Rabett run". "Tapeworm Tom's Climate Truth" maybe? It could have been very funny, because we skeptics and anti-ecocommunists have a wonderful sense of humor whereas the warmo-stalinists are as boring as communist commissars in Siberia. They don't get even the simplest joke. But one thing held me back: would anybody really be able to tell that is was a spoof site? Or would it be indistinguishable from the real thing? Would it perhaps turn out to be more sensible than the real thing? This is called the pope's law, which states that when you make fun of the pope, you will never be as funny as the real pope. Of course, Catholics do not laugh in either case.
Indeed, the person who wants to make a parody of the eco-nazis faces an uphill battle. For instance, one might want to make fun of the warmo-terrorists' obsession with al'Gore, who is the pope of their AGW-religion. They talk about him all the time: "Al'Gore said this, al'Gore said that, al'Gore made a movie everybody has to watch, al'Gore got the Nobel Peace prize". On and on they rant about their beloved saint al'Gore, who in fact is fat, has a big house, a big butt, an airbase, a wide girth, and makes billions of dollars from his AGW scam and doesn't dare to debate Lord Monckton. And he is obese too! But the warmists worship him like he was some fat demi-god (I'm not joking), and it is impossible to make up anything more ridiculous, unless one really exaggerates. Maybe one could drone (wearing a fatsuit): "I'm al'Gore and you should all kill yourselves as sacrifices on my altar!" However, that might not be an exaggeration at all. It might one day become perfectly true, and then it is not so funny anymore.
Or one could try to make up funny spoof theories that are even sillier and more illogical than the current AGW theory. But how would that be possible? The AGW theory postulates the existence of so-called positive feedbacks that would amplify the alleged warming caused by the unproven increase of tiny tiny carbon dioxide atoms in the atmosphere. But the "positive feedback" theory is grotesquely illogical - a positive feedback would lead to an infinite cycle of amplifications upon amplifications, until Earth became immensely warm1. Yet they believe it. It doesn't get any sillier than that!
Then there is the AGW-drones’ fanatical belief in authority. "It was published in a peer-reviewed journal, so it must be true", "all these scientific academies and societies support the AGW theory", "all these journal papers support the AGW theory". It's like listening to Muslims shouting that all these Ayatollahs and Imams and Muftis say that Allah is great. Of course, the warmo-talibans don't even understand the articles they rant about; they simply believe what the authors claim. The other side of that litany is that nobody who is not a member of the climate science cabal and doesn't have a diploma in back-scratching AGW orthodoxy is to be trusted: "Lord Monckton is not a climate scientist", "McIntyre is not even a PhD", "Watts is just a TV meteorologist". It is just because these people are independent and uncorrupted thinkers that we should trust them!
And finally, there are the outlandish conspiracy theories of the climate change clowns. They scream about money from the oil companies, and connections to the tobacco companies, and about right-wing think-tanks and scientists for hire. It is all silly lies for the gullible masses of course, and the great irony is what a lack of imagination it reveals. The dreamed-up oil conspiracies are nothing compared to the real conspiracies that the kleptocratic masters of the AGW new world order have concocted and are enacting as you read these very words. How do you make fun of such unimaginative people as the CO2-haters? Silly, no sense of humor and no imagination: that's the Gore-Jugend for you!
One could make a really long list about such issues: their ad-hominem-throwing, the way AGW has become a religion, the denial of the criminal data-fudging and curve-tricking, the hypocrisy in pretending to care for people in Africa while denying them the blessings of fossil fuels such as driving SUVs, their naive unawareness of the powerful economical interests behind the AGW bubble (i.e. the renewable energy industry, the electric car industry, the low-energy light bulb industry, Greenpeace), their rabid ramblings against anyone who dares to question them, their blind devotion for al'Gore, their ugly earth-colored clothes, their boring vegan food (fit for rabbits), their pathetic stereotyping, and their endless projections of their own flaws and pathologies upon their noble opponents. Given how utterly ridiculous and idiotic the climate fundamentalists are, it is no easy task to make fun of them in a classy and sophisticated manner, just like it is hard to make chaste jokes about prostitutes. The jokes tend to get as grotesque and vulgar and shrill and tasteless as the people you are joking about. And yet they would be quite indistinguishable from the real thing. Indeed, some people have tried to make AGW-maniac spoof sites, most notably DeSoggyBog but with little success. Hmm, maybe the best joke would be to simply repeat what the eco-talibans are saying. Their own words are the best jokes!

1 We know that the feedbacks are negative, which makes it nearly impossible for the climate to change, unless it is by natural causes like during the Medieval Warming Period.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Arctic ice is not melting

Over at the eternally interesting blog WUWW (What’s Up With Watts?), there is an excellent post about the alleged decline of the Arctic sea ice. It is well worth reading: Steven Goddard is giving the warmofascists a really good bashing. However, when talking about arctic sea ice, people seem to miss the most important point. Fortunately, I'm here to tell you what it is. The most important point is that when ice is melting, and it turns into water that is warmer than the ice was, it is just a matter of transfer of energy from somewhere else. You see, the energy (in the form of heat) that warms the ice and makes it melt does not appear magically - it must come from somewhere else. And that somewhere else gets colder when the energy leaves it. You can observe the same phenomenon by putting ice into a glass of Single Malt. As the ice melts, the Single Malt gets colder. The ice is not melting because the Single Malt is getting warmer - it is the opposite. The Single Malt is actually getting cooler. So the melting of sea ice doesn't mean it is getting warmer, like the ad-hominem-slinging Al Gore Gestapo goon squad wants you to believe. It is only a matter of a redistribution of energy/heat, and that is perfectly natural. Actually, human activities cannot redistribute heat. Such redistribution would be a violation of Maxwell's demon, which is the foundation of the 2nd law of thermodynamics.
In addition, it takes very little energy to melt ice, as it only has to change from -epsilon to +epsilon degrees, where epsilon signifies a very very small number. So very small redistributions of energy can make a lot of ice melt. Like the flutter of the wings of a butterfly on Hawaii. So it is really silly to thinks that it has anything to do with human activities (unless it is butterfly-breeding humans).
If we look at the curve of the extent of the ice, we can see that it resembles what mathematicians call a Sine curve, after the Greek letter Sinulon. Sine curves occur in many situations in nature; for instance, sound waves are made up of Sine curves. And a Sine curve can never reach 0. It is mathematically impossible: the equation sine x = 0 has no solution. This proves mathematically that all ice can never melt, just as clearly as it proves that a sound never can be silent. And non-complete ice melting makes perfect sense: as the ice melts, we get more water, and the more water we get, the more ice can there be. Because – guess what - ice comes from water! Maybe the Dumming-Kruger-afflicted so-called climate scientists at NASA should try to learn some physics and mathematics for once!
In vino veritas!

Addendum: As Count Dracula very perceptibly has pointed out, I made a small mistake regarding the sine function. It is actually 0 when x=0. This implies that there was no arctic sea ice when Baby Jesus was born, during the Roman Steaming Period.
This article was published and peer reviewed within two hours. Wouldn’t it be great to see all climate science treated in the same manner whatever its source?
This is indeed the way that we need to peer-review from now on. Not gate-keeping, nor appeals to authority via a self-seeking, peer-review process that claims that only its accredited disciples are competent to judge!
My superior mental processing was laid bare, was replicable and found to be a tiny bit at fault. The self-styled Science of Climate, has been characterized via its most enthusiastic adherents by non-transparency, obfuscation and odorants of deceit. The deceit is still denied by the warmofascist ad-hominem-spitting eco-terrorists!

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Whitewash! Whitewash!

In a pattern which is becoming sadly familiar, two more "inquiries" into the Great Climategate Scandal have "found" that "nobody" had done anything "wrong". As anybody with any rudimentary cognitive capabilities understands, these inquiries are just a whitewash that would make Virgin Mary's bed linen look as black as coffee in Congo! If there was no wrong-doing, why do all these inquiries? Such inquiries are only travesties and tricks performed to hide the decline ... sorry the crime. Everybody knows that! They always give the opposite result of what the truth is! Hence if the inquiries actually had found that Mann and Jones were guilty as hell, then I would have believed these men to innocent like new-born lambs in the arms of Baby Jesus. Unless it was a trick to convict Jones and Mann in order to make them appear innocent. Hah, I'm not that easily fooled! But with the outcome we have seen now, it is obviously an attempt to make Jones and Mann appear innocent in order to make them really appear guilty in order to make them seem innocent, because everybody knows that inquiries always lie. There is only one type of inquiry that could have told us the truth, and that is a Blog Inquiry, in which prominent blog scientists and intelligent layman commenters, unsoiled by the corrupting influence of what passes as "science" nowadays, work together on the Web to express their informed opinions about the truth.
What is obvious irrespectively of these inquiries, which constitute layers upon layers of elaborate deception that only the sickest and most depraved mind could come up with, is that Mann and Jones have fudged and manipulated and tricked the data in order to support an immaculately preconceived conclusion - indeed a conclusion that any right-thinking person by instict must know is wrong. But that is not science - that is closing your eyes to Truth. The so-called AGW theory is an non-falsifiable oxymoron, and theories that are non-falsifiable are not scientific! It has also been disproved many times, by Gerlisch and Tscheuschler, by Soon and Baliunas, by Miskolczi, by Ernst-Georg Beck, by Lord Monckton, by McIntyre, by Inferno and finally by myself! And by its nature of being unfalsifiable and falsified at the same time, AGW theory leads to a contradiction, and logically this means that it has to be wrong. Reductio ad adsurdum!