Wednesday, 28 July 2010

The Blog-Citizens’ Tribunal to Find Out the Truth about the Climate Fraud

Whitewash after whitewash have come out of the official so-called inquiries and investigations of the great Climategate scandal. It has become apparent that only by a concerted effort by independent and unbiased investigators in the blogosphere can we cut through the deceptions and lies of the climate conspirators. There have been some attempts to do this before, most notably by brave climate auditor Steve McIntyre and the noble senator James Inhofe, but they have been too feeble and too conventional. We need some new initiatives, some new leadership! Therefore I call all blog scientists and blog auditors and blog investigators and blog aurors to unite under the banner of Climate Truth and join our considerable intellectual powers and moral forces so we can strike the final nail into the battered coffin of the climate scam.

The famous detective Sherlock Holmes will be our guiding light in this noble endeavour. Holmes was a genius that also worked outside of the official channels, represented by the boneheaded Scotland Yard Gestapo officers. If Holmes’s methods could lead to victory against the abominable Professor Moriarty, then they could also aid us in defeating the abominable professors Jones and Mann and Hansen.

The great Sherlock Holmes once said:

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?

We have eliminated the impossible: we can be certain that the fraudsters are not innocent; that their “science” is not free of manipulations and fudging; that their models are no better than video games. It just like when we reason about what controls the climate: once we have eliminated carbon dioxide, we know that it must be the iron core of the sun, cosmic rays, clouds, a recovery from the LIA, underwater volcanoes, Mars, natural 1500-year cycles, and thousands of undiscovered but significant climate drivers and it is not warming anyhow.

But what is the truth that remains in the case of Climategate? Tricks, lies, cheating, gate-keeping, back-scratching en masse – that is for certain, but we need to determine more exactly what all the crimes and misdemeanours of the Hockey team are.

The great Sherlock Holmes also said:

To let the brain work without sufficient material is like racing an engine. It racks itself to pieces.

We surely don’t want to rack our minds to pieces, so the first step of our project must be to collect all the relevant material. There are lots of people out there in the internets who have a piece of the truth – they must all be heard! And that is the wonderful thing about blog science – everybody can be heard. You don’t need any fancy titles and white lab coats – you just need a sharp wit and an open mind unsoiled by AGW dogma. Indeed, we have listened to the ivory-tower academics for too long, and look where that has led us! It is time that we listen to the average Joe Sixpack instead. Therefore, I want to say to everybody: anything you know, anything you believe, every hunch you have are pertinent to our investigation. As Sherlock Holmes said:

It is, of course, a trifle, but there is nothing so important as trifles.

Do not fear that what you say would be trivial or irrelevant or speculative or wrong: you still deserve to be heard. How can we otherwise know that we have not missed some important piece of information? Your little piece, however improbable, may still remain after we have eliminated the impossible, and then it will have been proven to be true. So whatever you have seen or read or heard about, whatever rumors and whispers you have come across on the web, whatever emails you have managed to download from some university’s mail server: report it. If it is not impossible, it must be true! If you have received an evasive reply to one of your FOI-requests, report it. And if you haven’t received any reply, it is even more important to report it. Silence is the supreme evidence of a crime:

"Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
"To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."
"The dog did nothing in the night-time."
"That was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes.

Finally, we need to do what we do best: we need to think. We need to get down into our basements and lock the door and pour though all our material during endless sleepless nights, with only a pipe and a bottle of whisky and our online fellow auditors and investigators to keep us company, and we need to figure out what it all means. And we need to think unconventionally. Our minds must boldly go were no minds have gone before. As Sherlock Holmes said:

In solving a problem of this sort, the grand thing is to be able to reason backward.

Indeed, we need to think backwards. Not boring, castrated forward thinking like those ivory-tower academics, but bold and imaginative backwards thinking. And upside-down-thinking, and inside-out thinking, and three-impossible-things-before-breakfast-thinking, and all kinds of unconventional thinking, just like the great Holmes did. We will not subject ourselves to Occam’s razor or other medieval instruments of torture. No matter how labyrinthine their machinations are, we will unravel them:

Perhaps, when a man has special knowledge and special powers like my own, it rather encourages him to seek a complex explanation when a simpler one is at hand.

With our collaborative effort, we will eliminate the impossible and reveal the hidden Truth, and finally throw down Hansen and Jones and Mann and Briffa and their hockey-club-wielding minions from the top of the Reichenbach Falls! And I don’t mean that as a figure of speech! With the combined powers of hundreds of right-thinking, independent and impartial blog scientists and science auditors, we cannot fail. And finally, the new blog science will replace the old corrupted back-scratching academic science, and that will the final nail into the battered coffin of the climate scam.

  • I urge everybody who has some evidence to report to write it down in the comment section below!

  • I invite my colleagues in blog science and auditing to cooperate in this effort and to establish posts were good and honest blog citizens can report and analyze evidence!

  • I invite other initiatives, such as the investigation that Andrew Montford is conducting for the Global Warming Policy Foundation, to join our tribunal under my supreme command!

I would like to end with this quote by the Great Detective:

I am not the law, but I represent justice so far as my feeble powers go.

Alone, we might have feeble powers, but together in The Blog-Citizens’ Tribunal to Find Out the Truth about the Climate Fraud we are an unstoppable justice machine!


  1. Fiery stuff Baron! In fact I'm no so fired up wanting to see somebody fired at the moment that I daren't go near any flammable material.

    Quite apart from the prima farcia evidence that Jones and Mann et al (presumably code for Algore) just look guilty, Jones has said "publish a paper - I'd know what to do with that".

    Yes we understand that "professor" Jones. With a paper you can cross things out and erase the bits that you don't like. Well real professor Curry is on your case and she simply says stop being dishonest and sneaky and tell the truth!
    You know nothing! Why don't you read some Steve McinTyres and get yourself clued up? But that's just her opinion.

    The rest of us, we're already selecting pitchforks, lighting brands and measuring out the piano wire, because all the evidence needed is in the emails. And The Hokey Stick Illusion, a masterpiece of hearsay evidence that anybody with the least bit of prosecutory zeal like Va A.G. Cochineal can ill afford to not make the centrepiece of their show trial.

    What more is needed?

  2. Baron von Monckhofen30 July 2010 at 00:49

    Dear check,
    There is indeed the most damning evidence in the emails, although it was cover up by the whitewashing commissions. But imagine - and imagine hard - how much there must be that has not been discovered yet. How many heinous crimes yet undetected! It is paramount that every single crime committed by the climate maffia gets documented and processed in the courts of blog science justice.

  3. I heard a rumour from an old wino that lives behind the local Kmart that global warming was caused by witches! So Briffa Mann and Trenberth should be hauled out of their milionaire mansions and burnt at the steak!

    Dee Niah:)

  4. Baron von Monckhofen30 July 2010 at 06:38

    Thanks for a potentially very important piece of evidence!
    That witches are behind global warming might seem improbable, but if it still remains after we have eliminated the impossible, it must be true!
    Now, did the old wino mention any names? Any information which could assist in identifying these witches? Any connections to NASA?

  5. The old wino mentioned that he was a climate skeptic(I believe he called himself Dodger Pillock junior) before hexing Hansen cast a spell on him that made him lose his job. He also mentioned magicking Mann and thaumaturgic Trenberth, and I believe NASA and the IPCCC were shown to be working for the Devil. These evil spell casters should be rounded up and auto da fe'd. We need real science from real scientists, like Lord Monckton, to show what we already know; that climate change is mere superstition!

    Dee Niah;)

  6. Baron von Monckhofen3 August 2010 at 13:13

    Witchcraft at NASA? Why am I not the least surprised? This information must be spread across the blogsciencophere!

  7. Baron

    When I first read your announcement I was excited and convinced that now, finally, the final nail was going to be hammered in the final coffin of AGW. But now it seems the response you got so far is not overwhelming. This means the influence of the AGW maffia is even larger than we thought and many people must fear for their career or life. More than ever we rely on brave men like yourself, Check and Prof Inferno to finally find that final nail for the final coffin!

  8. Ionic disturbances10 August 2010 at 18:13

    Herr Professor Doctor Baron,

    Perhaps the most important piece of Sherlockian wisdom was omitted from your clarion call to victory (inadvertently, no doubt).

    Watson: "What do you imagine this means?"
    Holmes: "I have no data. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly, one twists facts to suit theory, rather than theory to suit facts."

    (Perhaps your omission of this salient point is due to the fact that this is from 'A Scandal in Bohemia', a place better known for Oktoberfest?)

    The debate is now revealed as simply this - Data? We don't need no stinking data! vs.
    Theory? We don't need no stinking theory!


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