Friday, 25 March 2011

Quote of the Millennium

Over at Whats Up With Watts, I found the following wonderful quote from Australian arch alarmist Tim Flannery:
Just let me finish and say this. If the world as a whole cut all emissions tomorrow the average temperature of the planet is not going to drop in several hundred years, perhaps as much as a thousand years because the system is overburdened with CO2 that has to be absorbed and that only happens slowly.
Reading that quote, any sane person has to ask himself: if it takes up to a thousand years for Earth to cool after our CO2 emissions, what is the bloody point of cutting those emissions? It simply doesn't make sense! It just has to be a scam! As Anthony Watts comments:
Crikey! So much for the “think of the grandchildren” argument used by Dr. James Hansen.

This reminds me of an encounter I had with another Gaia-worshipping tree hugger a while ago. I and some friends had gone to an ancient oak forest near where I live, bringing our chain saws. We wanted to make a really big  bonfire to celebrate Man's Dominion Over Nature Day, and we thought that those oaks would make the perfect fuel. However, after we had felled a few of the oaks, a man came up to us and called out:
"What are you doing? Why are you felling those oaks?"
I responded: "We want to make a bonfire."
He said: "But this forest is protected. You cannot do that!"
I responded: "I don't think that we are doing any harm to those oaks. It is only natural for them to burn."
He cried: "Are you mad? It will take many centuries for oaks like those to grow back again!"
Whereupon I replied: "Centuries? Are you telling me that even if I and my merry friends stopped cutting down oaks right now, it would take many centuries for the forest to grow back?"
He said: "Yes! We would have to plant new oaks to replace those lost, and they grow very slowly."
So I laughed at the poor imbecille: "Why should I stop cutting down these oaks if it doesn't make a difference until after many centuries?"
Whereupon I and my friends continued to fell oaks.

The moron who had harassed us with his idiotic nature-worshipping ramblings apparently felt so humiliated by the crushing intellectual defeat he had suffered that he had phoned the police as a petty act of vengeance, but that's a different story.

Nos ardere quercus

Update: also see Bishops Hill and Steven Goddard. And here is a cartoon by Josh:
And what the heck has felling trees got to do with diminishing forests?

18 comments:

  1. MightyDrunken25 March 2011 07:26

    If it takes thousands of years for Earth to cool off than obviously it would take 1000's of years for CO2 to warm the planet.
    Therefore we have no time to spare to burn all the remaining coal and forests to hopefully keep away the next ice age.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Endorphin Monkey25 March 2011 11:57

    How can squat, ugly, wizened eco-trolls dare say that we must reduce carbon omissions to save the climate, and then say that temperatures will stay high even if we cut carbon submissions. They might jabber away, waving their arms, about temperatures going even higher unless we burn less stuff now, but I don't understand the patois or dialect they're using. All those scientiferous words and such like. So let's respond to them with the Biblical parable of Goldilocks and the Three Bears...

    Even though Goldilocks was unable to instantly provide specific details on the three bears on demand (e.g. species, size, age, dentition, home mortgage contract, birth certificates) we can still learn from her experimentation. She found that the bears' porridge varied in terms of temperature and that their beds varied in terms of softness. Neither of these had anything to do with CO2, so why should air temperature?

    And as for trees, what do they have to do with carbon? They are made of wood, not coal or diamonds. They burn because of the phlogiston or luminiferous aether contained within them. So it was OK to cut them down before they rotted.

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  3. Ha! - so another felid has absconded from its flexible container, and so soon. What arch-warmist Flannery doesn't realise is that the converse of what he said applies as well, obviously.

    So we can safely burn even the dirtiest, smelliest, carbonatedm brownest and fizziest of fossil fuels as much as we like secure in the knowledge the effects won't be felt for another thousand years.

    To put it in perspective, this is like imagining what the world would be like in ten centuries time, or around 365,000 days.

    For instance, we could hardly go around today demanding reparations from the Normans for all that rape and pillage and conquering and adding more than their fair share of carbon to the atmosphere perpetrated a thousand years ago. And besides, some of my best friends are Normans.

    Anyhow, as even the spottiest and most callow of teenagers could inform Klimatfuhrer Flannery, we'll have interstellar starships and be commuting to the office or factory via wormholes and have fully compliant domestic robots (probably with real hair) at our beck and call by then. Possibly even a bug-free version of Windows.

    I hardly think a minor atmospheric carbon imbalance will be considered a problem in the utopia of the future. Surely at the very least a grateful poor could be compelled to suck it up.

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  4. Oh dear Baron, there seems to be a problem with the feed to the Josh cartoon which I was so looking forward to seeing, even though people often say to me his work is asinine, brainless, deluded, deranged, dumb, fatuous, foolheaded, harebrained, idiotic, ignorant, ill-contrived, imbecilic, ignorant, inane, inept, mentally deficient, misadvised, moronic, nitwitted, pea-brained, pin-headed, slackjawed, stupid, thoughtless, undiscerning, unintelligent, untalented, and the slaverings of a piss-poor artist to boot.

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  5. I AM A BOXER MY DOCTOR TELLS ME I HAV TO STOP BOXING TOO MANY BRAIN CELLS DEAD I ASK IF I STOP BOXING MY DEAD BRAIN CELLS COME ALIVE HE SAYS NO I SAY THEN WHY SHOULD I STOP BOXING???
    I USED BELIEVE IN GLOBL WARMIG THEN I HEARD ABOUT CLIMTE GATE NOW I AM SKEPTIC I AM A BOXER DOCTOR SAY BRAINCELLS DEAD WHY SHOULD I STOP BOXING???????

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  6. Mr hiding behind a false name, once again you show your destructive nature, don't you know that legally female un-retarded age of consent squirrels live in oak trees, don't you know that you can help cool the planet by burning massive truck and car tyres in bonfires instead of squirrel bordellos, by burning huge amounts of black rubber we block the light that is causing this global warming , okay your intentions were good i admit but we need to burn black rubber tyres to have any affection .

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  7. Baron von Monckhofen26 March 2011 00:05

    I fixed the Josh cartoon, chek. As usual, Josh is spot on. "If I say that something lasts for a thousand years, then I really mean that it doesn't exist." That's my attitude to many things in life. Josh is really something of a reincarnated Leonardo da Vinci. I really resent those people who describe his work as "talentless scribbles for slack jawed cretins whose brains have atrophied after spending too much time at moronic antiscience websites."

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  8. Ha! You should have told him that the Lord has created oaks with the aim of providing fuel to mankind. So it would not only be unnatural not to burn them, it would be heretic!

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  9. heroic? what is heroic about incinerating squirrels

    "who describe his work as "talentless scribbles for slack jawed cretins whose brains have atrophied after spending too much time at moronic antiscience websites."

    you reckon its that good? to much praise their i am thinking

    ,

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  10. Hehehe! That cartoon is so incredibly funny and extremely witty! I am rolling on the floor laughing my bottom off!

    ReplyDelete
  11. A climate denier Monckhofen
    drove the final nail in the coffin
    the coffin was bare
    no climate in there
    now all us alarmists are scoffin


    ROLL ON FLOOR, CRAP MYSELF, PISS MY PANTS, LAUGH MY ARSE OFF

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow, you're really rather stupid aren't you.

    The doctor tells you to stop drinking heavily to avoid further damage to your liver, but it'll take years for the damage to heal.

    So your response is to carry on drinking because it'll take years for your liver to heal.

    Stupid, really stupid!

    Chris.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Baron von Monckhofen3 April 2011 08:50

    Chris,

    How the heck do you know my doctor? And why the heck doesn't he respect doctor-patient confidentiality? He didn't tell you about my other problem, did he?

    I am going to have a very serious conversation with Dr Grossmund.

    ReplyDelete
  14. ...seems somebody has hacked Dr Grosmund's emails, warmists will do anything in their infernal desire for global governance.
    Onwards and upwards regardless herr Monckhofen.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Is there an echo in here?

    I'm sure of it. There IS an echo in here!

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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